She struck me, dead in my heart, last night, as I walked out of a sweet-but-awkward Tinder date that had abruptly ended.
I had spent too much money, and had two drinks. I was hoping to coax his heart open by sharing some of my poetic words. Instead he announced, “I’m sorry, but I’m really tired.”
“So, you want to go home?”
“Yeah. It was nice to meet you.”
Awkward quick hug. He said, “I hope you’re ok to drive.”
“Well. . . Not quite yet. . .but I’ll stay here, or just take a walk for a while.”
I walked out of the bar, onto the street, and she captured me right away. The Moon. . . And what was that bright star above her? Ah yes. . . Venus. There She was.
I walk the streets for a half hour, my eyes glued to Her. I feel into the ache that ever growing inside of me (Cancer Moon). I felt into the desire to be fully met, to share my wonder with the eyes of another (Venus in Leo).
There was no Other. . . Although she appeared briefly. (I received a message from my sweet and fiery Leo roommate. 😊)
I am the Moon. I am Wanting.
I am Venus. I know myself. I will not settle for less than I am worth.
I am rising. I am regaining memories, recapturing pieces of my Soul.
Many of them I lent to him (Mars–to be explored more later). I ache for him still. I will see him soon.
Oh, how sweet is this journey, of Self remembering. How difficult, and sweet.
I will make Ease my home. Until I know it in my bones. Until I know fully, once again, that I am truly safe (Moon) and incorruptibly whole (Venus).