Today’s full moon in Virgo brought with it a mega-dose of charged energy, as it trined Pluto (lord of the underworld), quincunxed Uranus (revolutionary fire-starter) and opposed Chiron (the wounded healer). But the energy that most drew my attention, interestingly enough, was Lilith. The Black Moon Lilith was in a 4 degree conjunction with the moon, and added a heaping dose of feminine “umph”–as well as a second quality, perhaps unexpected: over-analysis.
That’s right–that gnawing, “something is scratching at my brain and I can’t let it go” energy was ultra-present today, and I wasn’t the only one who felt it. . . Did you?
Lilith in Virgo, the sign of the Virgin, is quite an interesting combination–particularly because Lilith exudes raw sexuality (and can be quite dirty!), while Virgo seeks purity, in its essence (whether in mind, body or spirit). And yet, in earthy (if pristine) Virgo, Lilith can become quite the grounded goddess. She can bring spirit into crystallized form. She can transform chaos into clean-cut, sparkling delineations.
And yet. . . There is that gnawing, isn’t there? It’s a nasty feeling, one that you can’t quite get rid of, like a fly buzzing persistently around your head, landing on your ear, tickling your brain. And always, there is this same fear that creeps in:
“It’s not enough. . . I’m not good enough.”
You try to hush the irrational chorus of emptiness. (Or, is it rational? Is it right?) You try to shush it, to cheer yourself up, to list your right-doings (for once), to remember your mantra. Still, it sticks around, it creeps through the dark recesses of your brain.
“Things will never change. You know that, don’t you? . . . There’s an ingredient missing. . . There’s a ‘something’ that you don’t have–and you never will.”
It’s futile to argue with the voice, as awful as it is. Arguing with it just makes it louder. And the anxiety doesn’t leave. It just settles into your stomach, making you nauseous, inspiring you to not decide, to not do. To just avoid the pain until it goes away. . . Except, it doesn’t.
So, what is the cure to this malady, this morose state of being?
The cure is surrender.
Surrender to the perfection of the universe, to the natural rhythm of Divine Unfolding.
After all, who are we to declare that we are not enough? That we never will be?
We are part of nature, part of it’s magic and it’s wisdom. We can access it’s wisdom through the knowing of our bodies.
We are part of the Divine, in all of it’s inexplicable wonder and glory.
We are part of the Universal mandala, the interconnection that is the human race, in all of it’s frailty and messy complexity.
And, so, perhaps, we are not meant to figure out everything in our brains, alone. Perhaps we need to “plug into” something greater–whether you call that something a higher power, or a natural intelligence or simply Buddha nature.
Lilith in Virgo can be a priestess. The wild goddess, aligned with the Virgin, can bring purity to the psyche, and robust health to the body, and service to mankind. But–she can only do so if she learns to listen to another Source other than the rattling of her own brain (consumed, in futility, with trying to solve higher questions that she cannot analyze into silence!)
So, how do you tap into Source, into the wisdom of your own natural intelligence? Do you do so through meditation? Journaling? Being in nature? Doing yoga? Whatever the method is for you, now is the time to re-align and to tap in. Come into the present moment, and listen for the cues of how you can serve, how you can respond to your soul’s longing.
The answers are there, hidden underneath the thoughts. They come as urges, as prompts to turn first this way, then that. Learn to wait, and to listen, and you will find the purpose that you seek–AND, perhaps more importantly, the peace of mind.